Let's start with last Thursday. My roommates and I are at home, relaxing after a hard day's work. One of my roommates has her wonderful significant other staying with us through the weekend. We WERE having a good conversation until I stuck my foot in my mouth by telling "Mike" (for the sake of this blog, I've changed his name) that "my best-friend (and I won't mention which one) told me that cross-fit is a waste of time" and then I remember that I tried to save the convo by saying "but if it works for you, keep doing what you're doing." WTF? Who the fuck am I to knock someone down? At any rate, I didn't think anything of it until....
Fast forward to Saturday, I was out with my cousins (I dare not mention whether they were blood or non-blood related) and a friend of theirs (and for the sake of this blog, I've changed her name) by the name of "Nancy" - everything was going great until we started discussing beauty regimens. I mentioned that I used "Eucerin - Anti-wrinkle cream" and she smiled at me and said "Yeah, I used that on my purses and it works!" Immediately, I thought, that's fucked up! She caught me in my tracks, I was shocked and I really genuinely tried my hardest to NOT think of her directly insulting me. But honestly, I was like "fuck that!" Everything after that, I tried my hardest to make light of and I spent way too long of a night at their friend's house and when it was time to go home – BOY, WAS I RELIEVED.
The moral of this story is...indeed, some old habits die hard because I was tactless and now I strive to be tactful AND even though I am more mindful of what I say; sometimes the "old Maria" comes back but all I could is embrace her too instead of chastising her. I had to tell myself - KEEP GOING...CHANGE DOESN'T MEAN IT'S EASY, IF I can recognize where I screwed up - well, at least, I’m one step ahead of where I used to be. Finally, I recognized the fault, I forgave myself and (after this blog) I moved on. No use dwelling on it – it’s done and over with and it can’t be changed. I lived and I learned, enough said.
I hope this tidbit helps. Till next time, I bid you all love, light and compassion.