With that in mind, I know there are quite a few of you who have been following me since my beginnings and there are those who just started following me - I've gone through different phases in my life and now I'm going through another phase in my life. I believe this is all a part of life and a part of my grieving process for losing my mom.
Lately, I have been questioning myself, my gifts and wondering and asking God if He has taken back my gifts - I was answered with "No my child, this is your time to grieve the loss of your mom, remember that each phase you go through, you grow in power and even though you don't feel your powers, you are still powerful." I didn't understand it.
Then, within the last 3 weeks - I saw a spirit, an unfamiliar woman - who I thought to be an evil spirit. I prayed, meditated and did all I could to banish this spirit - when my mom appeared and I heard my own inner voice saying, "talk to her [the spirit]." As I approached the spirit - who bore a resemblance to the main character of "The Ring", I couldn't stand the stench exuding from her and her skin was all cut up to the point of decaying and I couldn't see her face. I figured - I've faced worst, I might as well ask her what she wants with me.
I asked her, "who are you? And what do you want from me?" Her reply both shocked me and saddened me:
"I am you, I am everything you hate about yourself - you manifested me and now I'm here. We need to be re-joined. Why can't you love me with the same unconditional love you give to others?"
We both sobbed as my mother pushed "me", the ugly side of me, into my arms. I then replied to her:
"I am so sorry, I didn't know I treated you so badly. I promise you that I will love you unconditionally. I know it will take time to get there but I will love you - all of me completely."
She replied with "we need to be rejoined, so we can be one again." She's been with me ever since. I can't say when we'll be "one again" but she continues to remind me that I need to love me unconditionally.
I am sharing this with all of you because the journey to rediscovering one self and the journey to spirituality is not just one stop but a constant evolution. There is no ending and no beginning - my journey, like yours, just is.
Till next time, I bid you all love, light and compassion.