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Fear

10/31/2011

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Happy Halloween, Everyone!  This week's theme has been inspired by none other than, All Hallow's Eve.  When I think of fear, there isn't just one word to describe it.  However, I can describe the feeling to a tee – Fear is when the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up accompanied with an instantaneous adrenaline rush.  WE ALL HAVE FEARS, and it comes in all shapes and sizes.  If you don't have any fears, well, you probably aren't human– just kidding!    

I speak about fear in the general sense.  The type of fear that comes to mind is fear of change, more commonly, fear of failure or success.  Some of us might feel that we don't want to start anew because we don't want to fail and we're scared of what others are going to think of us.  Or there are others who feel, "Oh My God—what if I do succeed?!  How will success change me—good or bad?!”  Then that sense of fear tends to get the best of us because we allow it to happen--we allow fear to take over.  What then?!  Who ends up suffering in the end?!  YOU.  When all else fails your higher self steps in, you know the little voice at the end of the day, providing
you with insight and encouraging you to "go ahead, face your fear—doing something is better than doing nothing at all.”  Then, when you finally face your fear, what happens next?!  YOU GROW—you become a better person because you've overcome that fear; and you are now fluid to change.  

Now, just because it's Halloween, don't take my blog literally and go out there to the nearest Haunted House, you know the one everyone in town has been claiming to be haunted for decades—that's not the fear I'm advising you to overcome!  LOL!!!!  But if you must enter into the unknown, I hope you are prepared to go there and I HOPE you do not take anyone with you!  

This week I dare you to face your fears.  Till next week, I bid you all love, light & blessings.

Maria


 


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Gentle

10/24/2011

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We are our own best and worst critics.  When we succeed, what happens next?!  WE always seem to hold our breath “waiting for the other shoe to drop.”  When this happens, be gentle with yourself and revel in the success you are experiencing NOW.  Don’t worry so much about tomorrow (I know easier said than done, right?!)  For example, this week—believe it or not, I was at a loss for words and couldn’t seem to find or rather “feel” a weekly theme.  When I stopped and relaxed (a little), I felt the message come thru clearly—“Maria, be gentle with yourself and then you will be gentle with others.”  That was it, my theme – GENTLE. 

Part of being gentle with ourselves, is having a daily conversation with God, in a form of prayer or other rituals you feel comfortable with.  Tell God how your day went, ask for help when needed.  I have my daily conversations with God, otherwise, I’d be actin’ a fool ALL OF THE TIME!  LOL! 

I think I’ll cut it short for this week and continue to be gentle to myself.  Until next week, I bid you all love, light & blessings.

Maria

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Signs

10/16/2011

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Every year I attend Our Lady of Fatima Festival in Thornton, California to give thanks and grace for all the blessings in my life.  This festival is celebrated annually during the 3rd weekend of October.  So to give thanks I walk barefoot in the main procession on Saturday night after the mass.  I also go out there to visit and spend time with my 2nd family The Machados & Mirandas (so, of course--I eat, drink & am merry!).  I kill 2 birds with 1 stone so to speak.  I come away from the festival feeling and knowing I am loved and blessed for another year to see our beloved lady and spend time with my loved ones.   

Yesterday on my way to Thornton, the Rosary hanging from my rearview mirror, broke.  The dangling cross fell right into my hand.  I freaked out.  My superstition got the best of me for about a minute.  My head kept telling me to go back home, for this was a bad sign (accidents, death, etc.); but my heart and body did otherwise, so I kept driving.  I prayed while I was driving for safety and peace of mind.  After half an hour on the road, I calmed down and kept my eyes on the road.  I got there safely. 

When I arrived in Thornton, I noticed this year that the RV lot was not as full as the years before, no matter because it's the Saturday night mass that draws people from all over California (and perhaps all over the world). Around 8ish, my family and I walked in during the middle of mass and waited for the mass to end so we could proceed onto the procession--the highlight of the night.  We walked and recited the Rosary as usual, then out of nowhere--a woman shouts "Oh my God, There's Mama Mary--over there," she was pointing to the west and everyone looked, including me.  When I looked up I saw what appeared to be a Marian Apparition.  My head didn't want to believe it but my heart told me otherwise and I knew my heart would never betray me.  But that wasn't what settled me, I was humbled by what I witnessed.  I saw everyone including myself being drawn and walking towards this apparition.  I was holding Andrew's (my nephew) hand and we walked towards it.  He kept asking "where are we going?!"  "What are we looking at?"  I told him to look up and he didn't understand, neither did I.  I love a child's innocence because of its purity.  At that moment, I awakened my inner child, then I heard a voice say to me "look with your heart, Maria, I'm here; everything will be alright."  Then, people all around me were dropping to their knees, praying and crying tears of joy, of relief.  My eyes were steady on the image before me.  My head kept telling me it's just a tree with backlighting--what a let down.  I finally stopped arguing with myself shut out my head and listened to my heart due to the overwhelming energy surrounding me, energy carrying love, faith, HOPE, devotion and grace.  

Others will tell you it was a figment of your imagination, or that it truly was a Marian Apparition.  I know what I saw, what I believe and I know that my prayers have been answered.  My faith has been strengthened.  Who am I say or tell people otherwise.  I wouldn't want that taken away from me, so who am I to take hope away from anyone.  Till next week, I bid you all love, light & blessings.
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Time

10/10/2011

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I've heard someone say "if we had more time, we would waste it."  This quote grew me and it took me a year to agree with it.  We also say "geez, I wish I had more time" but what do we actually do when we have the extra time?   Nothing.  You know I'm not lying about that.  We have ALL the time in the world, it's just a matter of alotting the time given, effectively and efficiently.  It's up to us to make the time for ourselves, for our family, for work, etc.  I think you know what I'm talkin' about.   

On October 7, 2011 @ 4:55 am, my family lost a loved one, my Tita Azon.  I still can't believe she's gone--just 2 months ago, we celebrated her 75th birthday!  WTF?!  Time flew too fast.  Anyway, Tessie emailed us a week ago to let us know that her mom was in the hospital.  Without getting into too much detail, my aunt's health rapidly declined.  Now, I can't find the words to comfort Tessie and Vernon, all I know is WE ALL ENJOYED AND CHERISH THE MEMORIES WE HAVE WITH TITA AZON WHILE SHE WAS HERE ON EARTH.  Time is/was of the essence.  I also believe that it isn't how much time is spent, but how you spend that time with the one you love.  So please take your time, use it wisely, be with the ones you love & spend it drama-free (ok, so the latter is easier said than done).  But before you start an argument with someone or stop talking to someone altogether, do me a favor and ask yourself these 2 questions:  "is it really worth it--choosing pride over love?"  AND "what if we don't have tomorrow--do I really want to argue w/this person?" If the answer is "NO," THEN YOU'RE THAT MUCH CLOSER TO ENLIGHTENMENT :o)  We just never know what will happen tomorrow.  

Till next week--I bid you love, light & blessings.  Love & hug your loved ones every moment you can.

Maria 
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Hope and Faith

10/2/2011

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Happy October to all!  This month is especially meaningful for me because this is my son's birth month.  In honor of October & Jonathan (who is my biggest inspiration), I bring you hope and faith.  Hope and Faith go hand-in-hand.  One can't be used w/out the other.  We hope for the best and leave the rest to faith.  As much as we know, WE can only do as much humanly possible before divine intervention steps in, hence faith.  Ever wonder when we hope for something or someone good, something whispers to us, a calmness then washes over us and before we have time to obsess over it, it resolves itself for the benefit of all?!  That's faith.  No matter who you are and what you believe in, YOU know exactly what I'm talking about.  Those that know, know it's divine intervention and God working His miracles; others would dismiss it as mere "coincidence."  But, if you think carefully about it, these two suppositions have one thing in common, faith.   

As I look back on life so far, I have watched my son grow into the young man he is today and he continues to grow beautifully inside and out--everything I'd hope for.  Although, through his (and my) growing pains, there were times I felt like throwing my hands up out of frustration, then I'd stopped, stepped back and hoped that everything I taught him could/would be implemented into his life.  Then, I hear a little whisper from my heart reassuring me that "all is well...let go and have faith that Jon is going to be alright" - then I'm good...for the moment.  LOL!  I mean don't get me wrong, I still worry about him--but hoping for the very best, staying positive, being there for him and knowing that things will work out for the best is definitely what gets me thru each day. 

Then, there are times like these that I hope my blogs are read by 1 more reader each week, so I continue to post and have faith that the latter happens.  So in lieu of feeling hopeless, feel hopeful; instead of spreading faithlessness--have FAITH!  Have Faith and always know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, coming for you, NOT at you. 

Food for thought comes from George Isles:  "Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark."  Till next week, I bid you love, hope & faith.
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    Maria San Juan

    This page is all about uplifting messages and the twists and turns of my journey...This is my safe haven full of love and free from judgment.  :o)

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