On August 28, 2009, Chris and his 3 loved ones were taken from us.  These past 2 years have led me to this interesting journey with you beautiful people.  You see, Chris was my rock.  He loved me and saw me thru everything.  Losing him was the toughest thing in my life.  I contemplated suicide because it was agony living on Earth without him.  It wasn't until a few months after his death, I'd cleaned up my act and started prioritizing my life.  I realized then and now, I still have people who love me--I have my son--he's my life, I knew I had to stay alive for him.  I have my parents who are also my life AND my rock, I knew I had to stay alive for them as well.

I went thru periods of time where I cried until there were no tears left; I hated Chris for abandoning me and I hated myself for letting him go.  I know this much, everything happens for a reason, whether we like it or not, but in the end--it strengthens your will to live.  My old life died with Chris; and my new life began with my loved ones.  I realized that Chris' death was a blessing in disguise for me, I found my way back to God; I learned to love myself again; and I learned how much control I had over my life.  I also realized that Chris died doing what he loved; and that I should follow suit too, meaning I needed to make changes in my life.  I realized just how short life is and that nothing is ever too late, gone or lost forever.  That is when I decided to write my first memoir--which is now complete and I pray each day that I land a literary agent who will best represent me and my book!  I'm also using my healing and intuitive abilities to help others.  I may not be financially rich (yet); but my experiences make me the wealthiest woman on earth.  I love life and thank God & Chris for guiding me "into the light."  Thanks to my loved ones--I wouldn't have made it this far w/out you guys!

You're gone but never forgotten, RIP Mahala, Mark & Cleofe.

Chris - you were taken from us, but my time with you was the sweetest, Sweetums.  It's not goodbye--more like see you later...I love and miss you.  RIP CL.

Love, light & blessings,
Maria

I'm perfect in my imperfections.  I started this weekend celebrating my "twin sister," Theresa's birthday.  We had a great time on Friday night but it ended on a sour note when I let our childhood friend get to me.  I basically had to set him straight.  Funny thing is, he had been so used to treating me like crap that he didn't even know what he did or said.  It's never too late to set someone straight.  I believe I got my point across and it will not happen again.  I've forgiven him for his shortcomings.

I woke up this morning realizing all of the successes and failures in my life--what triggered this?  I woke up and looked up at my son's Navy graduation picture and knew he was, is, my biggest accomplishment (among other accomplishments in my life).  I also cleared myself of all unwanted and stuck energy this morning, which inspired me to write this entry.  I did a general card reading for this week.  I'm reminded to take my time, all is happening as it should and to be clear about my intentions for my dreams are becoming reality at warp speed.  I'm also making it a habit to ask Mama Mary, God, AA Michael & Angels for help when I'm not sure how to do something.  Something as simple as "Mama Mary, Angels, God--if you hear me, please help and show me how to release my worries and fears about money and anything else keeping me from blessings."  It helps--and I love it!  I know this is a journey and it continues.  I bid you all love, light & blessings now and always.  So be it and so it is.

At the end of any given day, what matters most is love.  Surrounding yourself with those who count the most, that's love.  Today is my birthday and I'm grateful to God for blessing with my 39 years here on earth.  The experience, both good and bad, I definitely wouldn't trade for anything...it has made me who I am today.  I have the freedom to do what I want; to be who I am and not be afraid.  My "Aha!" moment came today when I look back at the last 39 years.  I've seen life born, death take a great love of mine and overcome quite a number of obstacles.  I look forward to another 39 years or how ever long God needs me to roam Mother Earth. 

Thank you to God, Family & Friends!