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This Week's Theme: Unconditional Love

3/31/2015

As I had mentioned yesterday, with the arrival of Spring, we are cleaning out not only our physical abode but our bodies/our temples as well. Some of you will notice that old feelings from what seems ages ago is coming to surface and some of you are even having dreams that you have returned to such old habits - my piece of advice for you is QUIT FIGHTING IT, let the old feelings come out and even dream the forbidden if you must - these "things" are simply making their way out of your life. You see when you fight it, it is almost like you are fighting to keep it because of fear. Recognize such fear, pray to allow God and His Angels in then watch and feel peace overcome you.

Undying Love is brought to you by Isolt. It is suggested here by Isolt that "if one is unattached - you are being prepared to meet your eternal love so that you two can share such undying love. Tis will happen once you stop asking when it is going to happen. First, you must love yourself unconditionally before you can attract the right one into your life. However, for those who are partnered in life - do not fret, your relationship is going through a trial period and it shall prevail stronger than ever. Also, to ALL parties, part of this process of undying love is also meeting undesirable people just so you can learn how much you love yourself and/or your significant others enough not to allow others' draining energies into your life. Fix your life, take care of and love yourself and everything falls into line, Dear One. Most of all, remain patient and when you least expect it, YOU FALL IN COMPLETE LOVE WITH YOURSELF AND YOUR BONDS WILL BECOME STRONGER."

FROM Archangel Michael: "Honor and Trust Your Feelings. In doing so, it is also a show of unconditional love for oneself. Regardless of outside influences and your ego telling you otherwise - take a deep breath and listen to your soul's voice, the one connected with God and it will bring you peace. Learn to listen to that voice daily through daily informal conversations with The One. Please recite the prayer on the card through Easter, Sunday, April 5, 2015 and whenever you feel the need to."

HAVE A HAPPY EASTER, EVERYONE!!!!

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Rebirth!

3/30/2015

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With Spring cleaning is the purging of old and outdated ideas, stuck energies and anything we don't physically use anymore. I feel NOW is the time to share my story, to show my imperfections and how I really got started on this wonderful journey and how I finally decided to live.

By October 2009, 2 months after the love of my life passed away, I was ready and already welcoming death myself. Also at this time - my son was newly-stationed in Hawaii so I knew he would be well-off without a mother like me. My soul was near-death. At this point in my life, I was a crystal-methamphetamine addict for 18 years, but I was what you called a functioning addict. I went to work like everyone else, but every night instead of going home and relaxing with a beer or glass of wine, I hit the glass pipe and smoked crystal all day and night. But I knew what I was doing, at least I thought I did, I thought I had everything under control.

I had my first hit or rather "snort" of crank (methamphetamine) at the age of 19, I had just started going to Hartnell College in Salinas and I was also newly divorced. At first, it was the perfect escape and great way to jump-start my weekends. I only did it once a month, then twice a month - until eventually it made its way into my life and became my co-creator. I had been partying with friends on the weekends to escape and rebel against my parents. I was a teen mom on welfare, still living at home with my parents and instead of support, my parents nagged the fuck out of me to strive to be a better mom. They didn't believe in "me time." Whatever, I did my thing - I made sure Jonathan was picked up on Fridays and I was home when Jonathan came home on Sundays and that's all that mattered. What did my parents expect their 19 year old daughter to do - live like a fuckin' nun? Hello, I already sinned and I was far from perfect, shit I'm in school so I could be out of their way and they wanted to babysit Jonathan, what else did they want from me? All they wanted to do was control me. I was young, wild and free and I COULD. NOT. WAIT. until I transferred to California State University at Sacramento because that would be the ultimate freedom.

By the time I graduated with an Associate of Arts degree and transferred from Hartnell College, I had a 3.8 grade point average and I had gotten Jonathan in the best after-school program in the San Juan Unified School District in Sacramento. At this time, I was a full-time student, a full-time mom and on my own for the first time in my life. It was hard, I struggled with everything especially with my withdrawals - Jonathan suffered as I often took it out on him. I later apologized for my actions but it still doesn't excuse what I did. Needless to say that when I graduated with my Bachelor of Science (yes a B.S. how ironic I know) in Criminal Justice, I had graduated with a weak 2.5 grade point average - still I didn't think I had a problem. I was 100 lbs and still I didn't think I had a problem. I continued to feel alone and I felt no support. I still thought I could do everything on my own. By the year 2000, I had quit methamphetamine and I thought it was for good.

By 2002 and I was already in an on-again, off-again relationship with my fiance Chris, I felt alone AGAIN, I felt the pressures of parenting upon my shoulder and USED life getting in the way as an excuse to escape. I'd gone back on meth, this time though when I hit the pipe, I knew what this form of meth was and what I'd heard about it was true - I had just taken a hit of the most addictive form of methamphetamine - "crystal." So everything was still normal to me - at least my version of normal. Little did I know that my home suffered, Jonathan ate, but I didn't check his homework anymore; I just didn't care anymore. I worked, checked if Jonathan ate and then smoked crystal all night and got ready for work in the morning. When Chris was around, I would hide in the bathroom to smoke crystal, then lay next to him and feign sleeping. All was well I thought to myself.

Fast forward to 2009 when my fiance Chris died, I went from a $520 a month habit to a $1040 a month habit. I did not sleep from August 2009 to September 2009. I isolated myself from everyone as usual and didn't bother reaching out to God even during my darkest hours until...

One night in September 2009, I heard Chris and other voices screaming in my ear. At this point, my friends and cousins all tried to help me to the best of their abilities but the looks of helplessness were written all over their faces - the fact is when I needed them the most, they were there for me and if that isn't an act of God, then I don't know what is. One of my friends took me to her Psychic friend, Sharon and Sharon confirmed that it was Chris coming through in the Spirit world. I asked, why did he come through? Sharon said that Chris wanted to know how to get home [to the house of God] and he knew I could show him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, so I went to my own Psychic, Pam Flowerday. Pam had confirmed that what Sharon was saying was correct and added that I had the gift of clairaudience - "clear hearing of voices in the Spirit world." Both Psychics also mentioned to me that when doing drugs and/or drinking "spirits," one is likely to encounter unwanted spirits if one isn't carefully protected or doesn't have a practice in place. After hearing that - for the first time in my life, I had a goal that wasn't going to be shaken. Also, I might add that I was staying between my cousin Marcel's house and my friend Deborah's house because I was too afraid to come home alone because I no longer felt safe in my own home.

When I decided to quit crystal meth once and for all in my life and I chose to be strong - I finally came home to face my fears. My first night back, I slept with the lights on and I prayed the Our Father and Hail Mary until I fell asleep. I made that a practice for the next few nights, into the next two months. That first night back was the night I redeemed myself and found my way back to God. By December 2009, I had attended a few classes at Angel Light Books, I was able to sleep with the lights off and I had a prayer system in place - from then on, as they say, the rest is history.

Since then, I have been consistently praying/meditating in the morning and at night. I have been helping others since 2009 and I will continue to help others into the next lifetime and beyond. The struggle to stay sober is there, all I can say is I couldn't do it alone, I couldn't do it without God in my life. When you are ready, just like I was, God is there to help you.

I love you all, till next time, I bid you all love, light and compassion.

~Maria

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This Week's Theme: Miracles

3/24/2015

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Hello Everyone - Happy 1st Week of Spring! You're just in time and you should have been feeling the shift of energies in your life for quite some time now. Such shifts are urging you to purge all things no longer of use in your life, make the necessary health changes for overall life improvements and most of all for your own inner peace.

With such shifts, come changes and a bit of unbalanced energy - at this point, THIS IS THE BEST TIME to delve such unbalanced energy into believing in miracles and asking your angels and Archangel Michael to help you buoy your faith in your own abilities and in God's miracles. Then, VOILA - the scene around you magically changes. I hope you enjoy the following channeled messages.

This following message comes from Jesus Christ: "Believe in miracles, call upon God, Our Father to help you in strengthening your faith. Remember that the biggest miracle of life is that you are alive and well, here on earth along side your brothers and sisters. Please take into consideration that you are not the same person you were last year, last week and even yesterday, that in itself is a miracle because as long as you are willing to change, you learn and you grow. Learning and growing are also miracles. Please let go of the expectations of how such miracles or how your prayers will be answered. WE are working behind the scenes to ensure your safety, good health, abundance and overall inner peace. Do not fret or worry, your prayers have already been answered; when you let go and stop worrying, the miracles are manifested faster and in real time. You are loved and you are safe."

Message from Archangel Michael: "Please take the time now to delve into the arts, writing in your journal or creative writing to RELEASE all that no longer serves your highest and greatest good. This is another way of letting go of unwanted and stuck energy - another way to heal and forgive yourself, allowing the fruitful, healthier energy to renew your soul. You are exactly where you are needed, just be open to receiving."

The prayer above is suggested to be recited for the next 3 days and whenever you feel needed to.

Till next time, My Loves, I bid you all love, light and compassion!

~Maria

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This Week's Theme: Faith

3/17/2015

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Happy St. Patrick's Day and this week's theme is FAITH. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, Faith is defined as a "strong belief or trust in someone or something: belief in the existence of God; strong religious feelings or beliefs; a system of religious beliefs." My definition of Faith is similar except that I substituted "religious" for "spiritual" because to me religion limits me and spirituality is both refreshing and it opens the door to all things and all dimensions good.

Before I get ahead of myself and get too deep. Spirit reminds US that "as you let go of all things that no longer serve its purpose in your life and allow good and positive energy in - ALLOW this process to take place naturally in divine time, have FAITH that things happen when they need to happen not when YOU wish them to happen. However, once the over-thinking and worrisome nature is removed from your life - Spirit can help you manifest quickly and freely."

Archangel Michael's message to US: "You feel as if you are walking and feeling along in the dark - do not fret, gentle one; One minute you feel that you are on top of the world trusting your inner guidance - then all of a sudden, your ego intervenes and "reminds" you that you are making a big mistake hence you end up second-guessing yourself. In fact, your own spirit is getting stronger, your light is burning brighter and your ego is threatened that it might be eliminated. At this point, balance is needed in your life and prayer and meditation is urged the most at this time. Let the prayer below be your starting point and let me remind you that you are not alone on this journey."

AA Michael's Prayer for you for the next 7 days*: Please help me clearly hear, see, feel, and know the Divine guidance that I have asked and prayed for. Allow me to keep my ego out of the way so your wisdom can come streaming through me...for my own benefit and for those around me.

*AA is short for Archangel and preferably start at 7 days; this prayer has no expiration so say it as needed for your own benefit.

Yet another confirmation from Archangel Michael that YOU/WE are willfully guided: "I am here. If you are looking for that tangible sign that indeed you are not alone in this journey, then let this card be further confirmation. Learn to embrace the ego as well since the ego defines your personality and it separates you from others - it truly makes you unique. Continue to pray to God for balance in your life and have faith that all is well, have faith that you are where you are needed the most and most of all, have faith that everything will make sense later. Question it if you may and let the answers come, yet see such answers for the face value and with no hidden or ulterior motives. Look through the eyes of love to find Faith."

I hope you received your confirmation today and I hope you all grow in Faith. Till next time, I bid you all love, light and compassion.

~Maria

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Reflection

3/16/2015

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Hello, my fellow lovers of life, today's blog is additional to my weekly blog and I felt compelled to share this experience with you all today. I am far from perfect, but I do strive to treat people equally. I also strive for tactfulness AND I am MORE mindful of what I say because Karma is coming to me at a faster pace than I could recognize it, hence it is my learning experience.

Let's start with last Thursday. My roommates and I are at home, relaxing after a hard day's work. One of my roommates has her wonderful significant other staying with us through the weekend. We WERE having a good conversation until I stuck my foot in my mouth by telling "Mike" (for the sake of this blog, I've changed his name) that "my best-friend (and I won't mention which one) told me that cross-fit is a waste of time" and then I remember that I tried to save the convo by saying "but if it works for you, keep doing what you're doing." WTF? Who the fuck am I to knock someone down? At any rate, I didn't think anything of it until....

Fast forward to Saturday, I was out with my cousins (I dare not mention whether they were blood or non-blood related) and a friend of theirs (and for the sake of this blog, I've changed her name) by the name of "Nancy" - everything was going great until we started discussing beauty regimens. I mentioned that I used "Eucerin - Anti-wrinkle cream" and she smiled at me and said "Yeah, I used that on my purses and it works!" Immediately, I thought, that's fucked up! She caught me in my tracks, I was shocked and I really genuinely tried my hardest to NOT think of her directly insulting me. But honestly, I was like "fuck that!" Everything after that, I tried my hardest to make light of and I spent way too long of a night at their friend's house and when it was time to go home – BOY, WAS I RELIEVED.

The moral of this story is...indeed, some old habits die hard because I was tactless and now I strive to be tactful AND even though I am more mindful of what I say; sometimes the "old Maria" comes back but all I could is embrace her too instead of chastising her. I had to tell myself - KEEP GOING...CHANGE DOESN'T MEAN IT'S EASY, IF I can recognize where I screwed up - well, at least, I’m one step ahead of where I used to be. Finally, I recognized the fault, I forgave myself and (after this blog) I moved on. No use dwelling on it – it’s done and over with and it can’t be changed. I lived and I learned, enough said.

I hope this tidbit helps. Till next time, I bid you all love, light and compassion.

~Maria

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This Week's Theme: Unconditional Love

Rebirth!

This Week's Theme: Miracles

This Week's Theme: Faith

Reflection

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