My heart is heavy right now.  I just found out about, yet, another death of a friend of friends.  Damn it!!!!  She was from Salinas too and her birthday was 3 days short of my Comadre's birthday, well, that is just hitting way too close to home.  I'm not here to make sense of "everything happening for a reason," however, I know God has His plans--whatever that may be.  No matter how sad I am right now--the fact that I know that this person is with my Comadre, my husband and other fallen homeboys and homegirls, is solace to me.  I just pray that ALL those who are on earth right now are grateful for their blessings, their life.  I'm grateful for MY LIFE AND FOR MY LOVED ONES.  So please, hug your loved ones and let them know how grateful you are for them too--Let them know daily.  Please let go of any unforgiveness, let's move forward and live life,  full of love and enjoy the GREAT TIMES that God has in store for us!  PLEASE!!!! 

Till next week, I bid you all love, light and compassion. 

Maria

The only man who keeps me focused and sets me straight, as needed.  Dad, you will always be perfect in my eyes and no matter how old I am, I will always be Daddy's Little Girl.  I love you and I hope you have an awesome day!  Thank God for you!

Excerpt from my journal entry on 3/18/12, 12:04 pm:  
As another week ends, another one begins. So I’ve been receiving a message from spirit to write, write, and write! Write even when I don't feel like it--like I do now. Write down EVERYTHING--even when things, life doesn't seem to make sense and share it with the world...only if I feel compelled to.  I'm going through a period in my life that I'm feeling around in the dark, biding my time becoming a skilled writer. I'm also receiving a message from spirit to "sit in silence" - Ok now I feel like a kid with ADHD -- I'm full of energy, impatient and I can't sit still. So what have I done about this? I've re-connected with Archangel Michael thru Diana Cooper's "Meditation to Connect with Archangel Michael."  You know, last night was the first restful, uninterrupted sleep I had since the Philippines trip.  I also watched a movie this morning, "Love Happens" starring Aaron Eckhart and Jennifer Aniston. It made me re-think or perhaps overanalyze the  fact that I'm still grieving Chris. There! I admitted it! It hurts, yet it feels good, liberating to admit that  "aloud." I don't know how long this is going to take, but I know that losing him has made me stronger. I also know that there is no set time period when this will end. I'll just continue to live day-by-day, or in this case, week-to-week.  I know I'll be fine. No scratch that. I'm going to be fine.

Thanks for reading my rant.  Till next week, I bid you all love, light, compassion and blessings.

Maria 

When I decided to take action and make my dream a reality, I knew it was going to be hard starting over but that in the end, it would all be worth it.  After all, it doesn't matter how you get there, it's getting there that counts.  Meanwhile in pursuit of my dreams, I've been contracting with various companies.  Today, I went on my interview for a permanent position, feeling I would ace this interview.  From the moment I woke up this morning and on the way to my meeting, I was already receiving a message from spirit to "focus" which I thought meant, focus on the interview.  Anyway, the gist of it was I felt the interview didn't go as well as I thought it would.  I came home sort of down and so I took a nap--as you all know, interviews can take a lot of energy out of you.  When I woke up from my nap this afternoon, I finally "focused" on my life's purpose, I realized that part of that process was to steer me slowly away from the only industry I knew for the last 18 years.  I threw my hands up and affirmed, "God, please place me where you need me."  A few minutes later, I received an email from one of my contractors to confirm my availability of an upcoming assignment.  I was so focused on this morning's interview that I actually forgot about my upcoming assignment!  LOL!!!  "Aha!"  So that's the "focus" spirit was reminding me of.  

I knew right then and there that spirit was trying to tell me that it is good that I am looking for other avenues of income--whatever the case maybe, I was also reminded that God will place me where I'm needed most and that the focus should be on my writing career.  With that I knew abundance is to follow shortly thereafter.        

Till next week, I bid you all love, compassion and abundance.

Maria   

Obsession, as defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as:  "a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling; broadly: compelling motivation."  Without declaring it to myself, I shall conclude that I have been preoccupied with every waking thought that comes to mind:  "when will this come," "what if this happens..."  I believe I'm feeling this way because I've had too much time on my hands and I'm not doing a thing about focusing on any one thing.  So, as you can see, I'm writing about it.  

I'm practicing patience and keeping positive thoughts at this time; it's a new habit and I quit fighting it.  When I mean, fighting it, I mean I let the negative thoughts flow out so that the positivity can flow in.  For example, at night, when I'm getting ready for bed, I find that I feel I have no control over my clairaudience--like the messages are coming at warp speed and loud!  Yikes!  So every night, what I do, I take a deep breath and focus on my inner voice telling me exactly that and that "everything is going to be fine--allow the voices to come thru, we'll take care of it if only you ask for help."  Then, I'll say aloud before I go to sleep, "God, please send your angels to care of me tonight so I can have a night of uninterrupted sleep and they can take care of the spirits coming thru, Thank you!"  I've been doing this for the past month instead of sleeping on my left side to ignore spirits.  It's work for me and I'm able to gain control of who can come thru and I'm reminded that "I don't have to do this alone."  Lately, I've been obsessing about my financial status--NO BUENO.  So when I catch myself feeling that "the money won't come."  I stop myself and declare out loud "I'm open to receiving God's Blessings and I'm abundantly supported now and always."

Letting go of old habits/obsessions are hard; but putting one's self thru this type of toxicity is worst.  I know I'm a child of God, as we all are, and WE ALL deserve love, abundance and goodness in OUR lives.  I'm reminded of this thru repetitive thoughts and ideas from my guardian angels; I'm also reminded to stop obsessing for it is that energy which stops the flow of love and all things good.  Wow, I feel better getting this off my chest.

Much love to you all.

Maria